Despite its challenges, menopause can be an empowering life transition that takes us towards freedom, wisdom, confidence and vitality.

Making the transition through menopause can be a tricky time for women. Things are changing, I mean drastically changing, and it’s largely out of our control. For many of us, the changes are quite unwanted and the only positive thing we can say about it is “at least I don’t have to deal with periods anymore!”

Menopause can bring with it a range of unsettling things like brain fog, trouble concentrating, problems with short term memory, hot flushes, night sweats, sleep disturbance, fatigue, lack of energy, muscle pain, joint ache and weight gain, as well as irritability, mood swings, anxiety, stress, sadness, grief and confusion. Often we just accept these things as “normal”. 

And these are just the things we know about – there are lots of strange things that seem to be associated with menopause, but the link is unclear (for example I recently had a diagnosis of Mal de Debarquement Syndrome, lucky me).

But it’s not only the menopause itself that we struggle with, is it? It’s all the other “midlife” things that we have to deal with at the same time. Ageing parents, teenage children, empty nests, grandchildren, health challenges, changing roles, changes in relationships, and career changes. Not to mention coming to terms with the thoughts, “I’m getting old!” and “what have I done with my life?!”  All this while we are struggling to find words for common objects and to remember exactly what it was that we were just doing…

Many women feel completely fine and unphased by all this, but many others feel overwhelmed, exhausted, stuck and, frankly, a bit “over it”. 

We can find ourselves in a weird, and rather uncomfortable, in-between place of “I’m no longer who I was” and “I am not yet what I am becoming”. 

Because we are becoming something. We just haven’t really thought about what that is. Or what we want that to be. Or how to become it. It’s right about now that we realise with a jolt that we have spent our whole life looking after other people, and we have never turned that care towards ourselves. 

Transitions can be scary, as we let go of what we know and move towards something different and as yet unknown. But we have gone through many transitions in our lives, and we have a lot of experience to draw on. And we have a lot to offer. 

Despite its challenges, menopause can be an empowering life transition that takes us towards freedom, wisdom, confidence and vitality. It is a time for renewing our energy and nourishing ourselves so that we can get ourselves unstuck and create a joyful second half of life.

If you are navigating the transition through menopause (and perimenopause) and you’re feeling a bit stuck, lost, or not like yourself, it is time to pause and take stock. To focus on self-care. To connect with what matters to you and what makes life meaningful. To work out who you want to be and what you want to become. And then to create a purposeful (but open) pathway to get there. 

Of course you can do this yourself, and below are some links to help you get started, but sometimes it can be helpful to have a bit of guidance and support through the transition. If that sounds useful, menopause coaching might be for you!

Menopause coaching takes a “where to from here?” approach. It does not pathologise this normal life stage, but instead acknowledges the discomfort and complexity of transition and the sense of trying to find your way through it.  

We start by talking through how menopause is affecting you and making sure you are connected into appropriate supports as needed. Then we explore all other areas of your life, as menopause does not happen in isolation.

As a registered psychologist with over 25 years of professional experience, I use evidence-based therapies, such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Schema Therapy and psychoeducation, to help you manage difficult thoughts and feelings, to develop insight and self-understanding, and to connect with what is important to you so that you can move towards a meaningful and enriching life. 

Then we keep the conversation going for as long as you find it helpful as you navigate this important life transition.

You will find me to be a compassionate listener with a good sense of humour. I have a lot of experience, both professionally and in life in general, which I will bring to our conversations. While I love a good philosophical and aspirational chat, I am also pragmatic and down-to-earth and can offer lots of strategies and tools to help you in a practical way.

You probably don't take a lot of time out of your day or week just for you. So I have carefully chosen my consulting room at WellSpace Psychology Prahran so that you will feel relaxed and cared for when you come in for a chat. I also offer telehealth sessions if that suits you better.

Australasian Menopause Society – fact sheets, videos and self-assessment tools.

WellFemme – online menopause treatment and doctor.

Jean Hailles for Women’s Health – information about menopause and its management.

Perimenopause and menopause toolkit – podcasts, videos, checklists and other resources (NSW Government).

The Menopause Brain (book) by Dr Lisa Mosconi.

The Hormone Repair Manual (book) by Lara Briden.

Menopause and cancer podcast – a UK-based patient-led organisation supported by leading menopause specialists.

Menopause at work – resources (Thea O’Connor).

Act Mindfully – information about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Russ Harris).

Self-compassion – self-compassion test, exercises and guided practices (Kristen Neff).

Smiling Mind app – mindfulness.

How we feel app – check-in to track your emotions (Prof Marc Brackett).

Circles of control – Positive Psychology article on Stephen Covey’s concept.

Both/and thinking – coping and thriving with dilemmas, tensions & paradoxes (Smith & Lewis).

The Ritual Effect interview – rituals provide comfort and meaning, especially during times of change – interview with Prof Michael Norton.

Who do we choose to be? – finding your path of contribution (Margaret Wheatley).